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funny status whatsapp, funny status urdu, funny status for girls, funny status discord, funny status generator, Funny quotes, funny status,——> Today’s topic revolves around these titles.
Today’s topic revolves around these titles
Very funny quotes in English + wonderful smart jokes and funny WhatsApp status: Today’s topic will make you laugh a lot and without prolonging the introduction. I wish you an enjoyable reading.
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TOP 15 Funniest Status in english – {Year 2023} Funny Status for WhatsApp
TOP 15 Funniest Status in english – {Year 2023} Funny Status for WhatsApp

369 Funniest Quotes in english + funny status from the Past 100 Years

1-Life is too short, smile while you still have teeth..
2-80% of boys have girlfriends. Rest 20% of boys are having a brain.
3-Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror
4-Dear problems… Please give me some discount… I am your regular customer.
5-I’m not getting older, I’m just becoming a classic..
6-Just finished deleting some friends on Facebook, if you can read this then you got lucky.
7-Milk does the body good but DAMN how much did you drink?
Status on WhatsApp Very Funny
Status on WhatsApp Very Funny
8-If people have a problem with u, always remember, it is THEIR problem..
9-I’m the kind of person who bumps into inanimate objects, says, Oops, I’m sorry. And doesn’t stop to ask himself why he’s talking to a wall.
10-Most emotional moment in a boys life, When a girl says, Can you give me your number 😀
11-The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
12-I hate when skinny girls say,”omg I’m so fat”. If you are fat does that make me a whale?
13-Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
14-One of my mom’s rules growing up was never to write on walls, well apparently Facebook doesn’t have that rule.
15-Next time someone presses the elevator button you’ve already pressed, act totally impressed and tell them they did it waaaay better than you..

Funny quotes for everybody

16-Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
17-Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the INTERNET…
18-Don’t be afraid to make mistakes..
19-Dear math, Im not therapist so solve your own problems.
20-If I get jealous then yes I really like you.
21-If at first you don’t succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!
22-I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough 😉
23-A woman is like a tea bag, you cannot tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
24-Only fools fall in love and I guess I’m one of them 🙂
25-I never make the same mistake twice. Three, four times maybe. But never twice.
26-Don`t you know it`s rude to talk while I`m interrupting?
27-It’s Christmas and 2011 is coming closer to an end! what’s the funniest thing you remember me doing this year??
Funny WhatsApp status ideas in english
Funny WhatsApp status ideas in english
28-Facebook is like a fridge. When you’re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there’s anything good in it.
29-Behind this smile is everything you’ll never understand.
30-I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice 🙂
31-Excuse me …. Plesae empty your pockets …. I think you stole my heart.
32-TODAY has been cencelled. Go back to BED 🙂
33-You can’t make someone love you. you can only talk them and hope for the best. 😛
34-I`m jealous of my parents, i`ll never have a kid as cool as theirs…
35-Taking revenge is wrong… very very wrong… But very very fun…
36-It`s too late to apologize. The damage is done.
37-Read books instead of reading my status!
38-Math questions are so stupid! They’re like “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?” Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?
Funny WhatsApp status for boys
Funny WhatsApp status for boys
39-If you like me press like. If you hate me, go away. If you love me comment.
40-Today’s Joke! A Girl said …….. TRUST ME 🙂
41-Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing and suggesting.
42-Tired of everyone talking about their feelings on Facebook lol..
43-thinks that facebook should change the status question from “what’s on your mind?” to “what’s your problem today?”
44-When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
45-Happiness is when “last seen at” changes to “online” and then to “typing” 😛
46-Growing older is compulsory Growing up, however, remains optional.
47-I think all woman can agree that bigger is better. Nobody wants a small bank account
48-Girls are funny creatures.They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday!!!
49-Can’t talk, telepathy only!
50-Stealing other people’s statuses on Facebook is called a Facelift.
51-It’s not true that I had nothing ON….. The radio was ON. 🙂
52-Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”.

Funny Quotes for Friends for whatsapp

53-My girlfriend asked if I would swim across the ocean for her, and I said It’s freaking, I’ll rent a boat…..
54-If there is no chocolate in heaven…”I AM NOT GOING”.
55-Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
56-I’m usually charming, nice, and well manured, OK for those who really know me you can laugh now..
57-I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent 🙂
58-Insert coin to view my status message.
Funny quotes about marriage + funny quotes in english 2023
Funny quotes about marriage + funny quotes in english 2023
59-My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
60-I’m not arguing, I’m simply tried to explaining why I’m Right.
61-You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
62-I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
63-Young love is two hearts with only one thing in mind.
64-An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
65-A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”

Funny quotes about marriage + funny quotes in english 2023

66-Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighbouring table n wish you”d ordered that.
67-My parents told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!” so I turned on the subtitles.
68-If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
69-You wanna see a perfect relationship? Watch a movie. Lolz
Funny Facebook Statuses
Funny Facebook Statuses
70-I posted on your wall. No, not Facebook, look at the side of your house.
71-Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
72-I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
73-I hate math but I love counting money.
74-I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others!

Funny quotes about parenting 2023

75-Dear parents, we know money doesn’t grow on trees, that’s why we are asking you for it.
76-I think I got a fever, a fever of you 🙂
77-I feel like a Indiana Jones, because you are the treasure I am looking for.
78-Hey, I found your Nose, it was in my business again.
79-Between Facebook texting, tweeting and email, I haven’t spoken a word in the last 3 years.
80-If vegetarians eat only vegetables, what about humanitarians?
81-Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up. 🙂
82-I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep 🙂
83-Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
84-If people could see the face I make when I read their facebook status updates, they would probably unfriend me.
Funny Quotes About Life in english
Funny Quotes About Life in english
85-Behave, What you do today will be on Facebook tomorrow.
86-Your eye is the only part you can not wash with soap.
87-Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.
88-I did in the bed. I did it on the couch. I did it in the car. Texting is such an obsession. 🙂
89-How can i miss something i never had?
90-Etc= End of thinking Capacity.
91-It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
92-The awkward moment when you know you shouldn`t laugh, but you do..
93-Laughing is the best medicine but if you are laughing for no reason, you need medicine.
94-Bad decisions make good stories. No wonder people find me so entertaining..
95-You and your rumors have two things in common, you’re both fake and you both get around.
96-If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂
97-It’s just Facebook, I wish people would keep it real and stop frontin.
98-WARNING!! I know karate …..and some other words!!!
99-Someone on his status “Sleeping” …since 3 Days! He’s Probably dead.
100-There are no stupid questions, just stupid people..

100 Funny Quotes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh 2023

1-Laziness is my middle name.
2-Not all men are fools, Some stay bachelor.
3-The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
4-If you want to commit suicide, you should jump down from your ego to your IQ.
5-Is your name Summer.? because you are as hot as hell.
6-For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember thats where the knives are kept. 🙂
7-That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and you end up walking in the same direction.
8-Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.
69 Ideas for a Funny WhatsApp Status – Short funny status in english and Unique funny status for whatsapp
69 Ideas for a Funny WhatsApp Status – Short funny status in english and Unique funny status for whatsapp
9-Vote Up Vote Down My Facebook wall is broken.
10-Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.
11-I’m Jealous of My Parents… I’ll Never Have a Kid as Cool as Theirs!!!
12-Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
13-Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.
14-Thinks I feel great when I go to bed drunk. I wake up feeling crap. Obviously sleep is bad for you.
15-Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
16-Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately both never help in VIVA and INTERVIEW.
17-Women are like boats: they require constant maintenance and attention, and they cost a lot of money. Men are like buses: another one will eventually come along.
18-One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry..
19-I don’t have issues, I have demonds and they are the ones with issues
20-Do you ever just lie on knees and thank god that you know me and my intelligence???
21-I hate when my mind wont shut up when I’m trying to sleep..
22-I don’t believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those who flirt. LOLz
23-I’m not failed…my success is just postponed for some time.
24-Scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal this status.
25-How to make a woman go mmmmmmm all nite long? …………………….. with Duct Tape 🙂
26-Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
27-I believe in hate at first sight.
28-I’m not weird. I’m limited edition.
29-C.L.A.S.S – Come Late And Start Sleeping

Funny Quotes About Life in english

30-If life give you lemons, squirt your enemy’s eye..
31-Why can’t shampoo and conditioner run out at the same time?
32-If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
33-We all are born to die don’t feel more special than me.
34-If you try and don’t succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
35-I never get mad when i see my ex with someone else because i was always taught to recycle my old trash.
36-Im a math teacher. One plus two equals me and you
37-Girls work on their looks but not their minds b’coz they know boys are stupid, not blind.
38-If Facebook is like dating, then Twitter is like a one night stand – it’s fun while you’re doing it, you finish in like 5 minutes, and you feel real cheap afterwards.
50+ Funny Status Lines For Whatsapp in english
50+ Funny Status Lines For Whatsapp in english
39-Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.
40-Girls fall in love with what they hear. Boys fall in love with what they see. That’s why girls wear make up and boys lie.
41-Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
42-If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..
43-I bet that in prison everyone’s FB relationship status is set to it’s complicated.
44-Some people should just give up at engineering( or medical) ………i have.
45-Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.
46-Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.
47-Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.
48-I have a date tonight, with my bed. We are totally gonna sleep together.
49-When your GF blocks u on facebook…… Its called an electronic divorce 🙂
50-I come up with the best ideas when sitting on the toilet then forget them after the flush.
51-I wish I could google “things to eat in my fridge” so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.
52-My friend wants to know if you think I’m hot.
53- People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason. 😉
54-Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
55-Teacher: Who can explain gender discrimination with an example? Student: Women can sleep with whoever they want ,men have to sleep with whoever lets them!
Funny Whatsapp Status 2023
Funny Whatsapp Status 2023
56-Why is abbreviation such a long word?
57-All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
58-Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
59-It’s raining, It’s pouring. Facebook is boring. I’m bored to death, I’m going to bed, hopefully we’ll meet in the morning!
11 Funny Short Status for Selfies
11 Funny Short Status for Selfies
60-I have a Date tonight, Woot Woot! (of course its with the couch, pillow and TV Remote, but its still a date. Right?)
61-I have a Date tonight, Woot Woot! (of course its with the couch, pillow and TV Remote, but its still a date. Right?)
62-Who care’s ?????………..I’m awsome!!!
63-How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday 🙂
64-Don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t sell drugs. The government hates competition..
65-We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up …….. after I finish laughing 🙂
66-Thanks to Google, Wikipedia, and whoever the hell invented copy and paste. Thank you Guys.
67-Only Marriage is the major cause of divorce.
68-Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. 🙂
69-Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
70-Where there is a will, there are 100 relatives.

Funny Whatsapp Status 2023

71-Dear Facebook, Just wait, one day they will leave you too. Sincerely, ORKUT
72-If you can’t find the key to success, pick the lock.
73- I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.
74-I don`t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.
75-Facebook is a crazy house People poke each other all day have an imaginary pet farm and talk to walls
76-I didnt change , i just grew up. You shud try it once 😉
77-Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?
100 Funny Inspirational Quotes Celebrating Life, Love & Struggles
100 Funny Inspirational Quotes Celebrating Life, Love & Struggles
78-Job interview: Please tell us why you’d love to work for us? ME: I need money 🙂
79-Congratulations … You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
80-Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
81-There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.
82-Its better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.
83-You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
84-Okay mom…you know I love you…but I can’t accept your friend request on Facebook.
85-If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either 🙂
86-For every girl without a guy, there`s a guy without a girl.
87-Well, We have a poke button, now we need a punch and pinch and kick button..
88-Do you know the meaning og ABCDEF? A boy can do everything for Girl. Reverse the meaning of, GFEDCBA … Girl forget everything done and Catches new boy Again.

Status on WhatsApp Very Funny

89-Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.
90-Did anyone ever notice that “STUDYING” is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?
91-Hey,you are reading my status again??
92-I may be old enough to know better, but I am STILL young enough to DO IT..
93-Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.
94-Laziness is me middle name.
12 Funny & Clever and Cute Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter
12 Funny & Clever and Cute Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter
95-Do you know the difference between a lady and a woman? A lady does what she’s told and a woman does what she dam well pleases!
96-When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
97-Want to learn how to dance? Have a cold shower today at midnight, I bet, You’ll rock like SHAKIRA 🙂
98-Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
99-Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) 🙂
100-The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.

+99 Funny status Quotes That Will Make You LOL!

1-If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
2-I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative.
3-If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
4-Every girl deserves ONE GUY who looks at her every day like it’s the first time he saw her. And Im that ONE GUY 🙂
Funny WhatsApp Status 2023 (1)
Funny WhatsApp Status 2023 (1)
5-If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
6-When someone adds me as a friend on Facebook, the first thing I do is go through all their pictures.
7-I’m not single, I’m just romantically challenged.
8-There are only two kinds of people in this world: Doctors and Patients 🙂
9-My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are.
10-I was good at math before they decided to mix the alphabet in it.
11-You have eyes my dear but you cannot see.
12-If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down and kill it.
13-While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.
14-I’m the person that the more you complain about me, the harder I’ll try to annoy you.

TOP 15 Funniest Status in english – {Year 2023} Funny Status for WhatsApp

15-For all the girls that say ….. All guys are the same …… Who told you to try them ALL.
16-It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
17-When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me..
18-The real reason women live longer than men b’coz they don’t have to live with women.
19-Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
Funny quotes for everybody
Funny quotes for everybody
20-Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.
21-A black cat passing by the crossroad can stop hundreds of people what a RED LIGHT on traffic signal has failed to do for long time!!
22-Full form of study – S-T-U-D-Y = [S]inging, [T]weeting, [U]nlimited Texting, [D]reaming, [Y]awning.
23-Friday is my second favorite F word.
24-I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
25-One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions 🙂
26-There are alot of fish in the sea, but I think there’s a hole in my net 🙂
27-The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem.
28-Never Say Neverrr, you just said it twice ?
29-Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.

11 Funny Short Status for Selfies

30-I wish i have a friend like me  😀
31-I need 6months vacation, twice a year..
32-If bar tenders aren’t allowed to sell alcohol to drunk people, then McDonald’s shouldn’t be allowed to sell food to fat people.
Funny Quotes for Friends for whatsapp
Funny Quotes for Friends for whatsapp
33-Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture 🙂
34-Brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
35-The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
36-I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
37-One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
38-I had my DNA analyzed. It came back with four main components. Bacon, Chocolate, Coffee and Crazy.
39-When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
40-Before talking, Please connect the tongue to the brain…
41-life is short…smile while you still have teeth.

Funny Lazy Quotes and Statuses

42-Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it.
43-Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.
44-My name is I. My problem is love. My solution is you.
45-Just saw the most smartest person when i was in front of the mirror 😛
46-I don’t understand how Super Mario can smash blocks with his head but dies when he touches a turtle.
Funny quotes about parenting 2023
Funny quotes about parenting 2023
47-Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
48-Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
49-I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat 🙂
50-Dear smartphones, why can`t you charge yourself? Sincerely, you`re not so smart after all.
51-Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a train, fall in love and never return.
52-It is a sad fact that 20% of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the remaining end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones.
53-Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
54-Whatever you do always give 100% ….. Unless you are donating blood 🙂
55-I never let my best friend do stupid things … alone.
56-Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?

50+ Funny Status Lines For Whatsapp in english

57-You can disturb me….I’m available. 😀
58-My friend has just updated his status saying. Is balancing on the edge of a cliff.. So i poked him.
59-I love buying new things but I hate spending money.
60-Hey, you have eyes, I have eyes, we have a lot in common!
61-I am going to start cleaning my house. And by cleaning, i mean drinking beer and spraying everything with febreze.
62-It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry 🙂
Funny Lazy Quotes and Statuses
Funny Lazy Quotes and Statuses
63-Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
64-The Earth without Art is just Eh.
65-Dear Ceiling Fan, If you could hold my weight, i would never be bored again. Sincerely, Bored.
66-Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook talking never updates anything.
67-The question I have not been able to answer is “What… does a woman want?”
68-I don’t get it, all my life I was told NOT to write on walls.
69-Harush says if you want to be together you have TO-GET-HER.
70-I’m not stalker. I am an unpaid private investigator.
71-You can’t put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories.
72-I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday 🙂
73-You have lot of curves and I have no brakes 😉
74-The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
75-If Facebook is the Upper West Side and MySpace is the Bronx, then Tagged is a trailer park in New Jersey.
76-When nothing seems right….go left!!

10 Short Funny Quotes in english 2023

77-Facebook, because time isn’t going to kill itself.
78-Hi, Im Mr Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
79-I love my job only when I’m on vacation.
80-The definition of a beautiful girl is one who loves me 🙂
81-I really need a day in between Saturday and Sunday 🙂
82-It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world each day fit exactly the length of newspaper!!
83-The human brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops when we take exam or are in love.
84-God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China 🙂
85-Even if you live your life as a open book, people will still wonder which pages have secret messages.
86-Don’t do it in the Garden, they say love is blind but ur neighbor ain’t. 🙂
best Short Status for WhatsApp
best Short Status for WhatsApp
87-I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate … but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
88-I have finally figured out why I can’t lose this extra weight. The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says, “for extra volume and body.”
89-I’m not sure how much longer I can hide the fact that I’m a robot.
90-If life gives you questions, Google gives you answers.
91-Instead of single as a marital status, it should read independently, owned and operated 🙂
92-A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, i am afraid of widths.
93-I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.
94-Good friends will bail you out of jail. Best friends will be sitting in the cell with you, laughing about how awesome that just was.
95-Never make the same mistake twice. There are so many new ones to make.
96- There’s always a person that you hate for no reason.
97-I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.
98-The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is “Salary is Credited” 🙂
99-Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.
100-BRB = I don’t want to talk to you. LOL = I have nothing else to say. Cool = I don’t care.

100 Funny Inspirational Quotes Celebrating Life, Love & Struggles

1-Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
2-When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…
3-Do you know why a previous relationship is called EX? It`s not the term for the past. EX is short for EXpired..
4-Finally found out that the plant I’ve been watering isn’t real…
5-Awesome ends with ME and Ugly starts with you.
6-I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.
7-I love it when someone’s laugh is funnier than the joke.
8-The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy.
9-If you fall. I’ll be there.
10-That awkward moment, when you wake up with one sock on.

Funny Facebook Statuses

11-The only difference between me and a madman is that I’m not mad.
12-Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a boys brain; on the left side, there’s nothing right; and on the right side, there’s nothing left…
13-In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31
14-I speak two languages, Body and English.
15-Facebook is the second most popular word that starts with ‘F’ and ends with ‘K’ 🙂
16-Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
369 Funniest Quotes in english + funny status from the Past 100 Years
369 Funniest Quotes in english + funny status from the Past 100 Years
17-If you are reading this, congrats you know how to read..
18-Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner. 🙂
19-Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.
20-A man asks a trainer in the gym: I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use? Trainer replies: Use the ATM
21-I am not addicted to Facebook. I only use it when I have time . . . . . . . . . lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. 🙂
22-You don’t have to like me, I’m not a Facebook status.
23-Nothing is illegal until you get caught 🙂
24-Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.
25-If I’m wired with you. I like you.

12 Funny & Clever and Cute Status Updates for Facebook and Twitter

26-Sometimes at home I talk in my sleep, but at school I sleep while others are talking.
27-Love thy neighbor. But don’t get caught.
28-Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It’s not fair that some men should be happier than others.
29-I’m a smart person, I just do stupid things.
30-Everything I like is either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening, Addictive, Expensive, or Impossible.
31-Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.
32-I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something 🙂
100 Funny Quotes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh 2023
100 Funny Quotes Guaranteed to Make You Laugh 2023
33-you`re sorry ? that`s cool. go write a book about it and let someone who actually cares read it.
34-Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a…………. Girl 🙂
35-Ah, Facebook, where it is socially acceptable to talk to a wall…
36-If you wish to avoid seeing a fool, you must break your mirror 😀
37-Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.
38-Men are like BLUETOOTH connection, when UR beside them they stay connected but when you are away they search for new devices.

+30 Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh

39-The only thing I gained so far in 2013 is weight 🙂
40-I’m not 40, I’m eighteen with 22 years experience…
41-People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
42-I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi 🙂
43-Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.
44-I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won 🙂
45-A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
46-When you really want to slap someone, do it and say “mosquito.”
47-Do you know what’d look good on you? Me 🙂
48-Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.
49-Sometimes the only one who can appreciate you, is you.
50-I hate people who steal my ideas, before I think of them 🙂
10 Short Funny Quotes in english 2023
10 Short Funny Quotes in english 2023
51-Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
52-I am a star, so when you see me, make a wish.
53-I haven’t slept for ten days, bcoz that would be too long.
54-Stop waiting for one Day. Today is the Day- Bang-Bang
55-Don’t steal, don’t lie and don’t cheat. The government hates competition.
56-We are the WTF generation: Wikipedia, Twitter and Facebook.
57-Remember, when she cancels a date she has to But when he cancels a date he has TWO.
58-When it’s you against me, you either win or you die!!!
59-When I Show you a picture on my phone..don’t swipe left.don’t swipe right.Just look.
60-Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out of it alive.
61-Definition of human being: a creature that cuts trees, makes paper and write “SAVE TREES” on the same paper.
62-If swimming is an exerciser explain whales to me.
63-Life is hard normally, but its harder if you are Stupid.
64-Bitch also stands for beautiful, intelligent, talented and charming human being.
65-Hmmmm…..Don’t copy my status
66-Love your girl like you love your Coffee… Enjoy it before its hotness goes.
67-Question of the Day: When you wait for a waiter in a restaurant, aren’t you a waiter?
68-That awkward moment when you keep talking and you don`t realize your friend walked away.
69-The best way to look younger, hang out with older people.

Funny WhatsApp status for boys

70-I always learn from mistakes of others, who took my advice 🙂
71-Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters..
72-Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don’t know.
73-Why do you talk so fast?” “Why do you listen so slow?”
74-My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
75-My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.
76-Kiss me and you will see how important I am.
77-I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, If I die next Tuesday.
78-We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook 😀
79-The 3 fastest means of communication: telephone, television and tell a woman.
80-If you stop telling lies about me, I’ll stop telling the truth about you.
10 Funny WhatsApp status lines
10 Funny WhatsApp status lines
81-I want you to have a candle-lit dinner and say those magical three words to you ………… “Pay The bill”
82-God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me 😛
83-Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
84-The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
85-Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.
86-Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
87-God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
88-The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
89-The hardest job facing kids today is to learn good manners without seeing any.
90-I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy and Paste 🙂
91-I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and i’m still at school.
92-You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
93-When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta.. No one says I’m fantastic!!!
94-You can not get lost on a straight road.
95-People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.
96-Money doesn`t bring happiness, but shopping does..
97-My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. Lolz
98-Facebook is the adult way of having imaginary friends.
99-They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who’s in a hurry?
100-You dont realise how many clothes you have, until you wash them.

69 Ideas for a Funny WhatsApp Status – Short funny status in english and Unique funny status for whatsapp

1-I don’t always lose my phone but when I do its always on silent.
2-Thinks if Peter Piper picked peppers and Jack and Jill ran up the hill and Mary took her lamb to school, wasn’t Humpty Dumpty lazy just sitting on a wall?
3-If money grew on trees – girls wouldn’t mind dating monkeys.
4-GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
5-Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
+99 Funny status Quotes That Will Make You LOL!
+99 Funny status Quotes That Will Make You LOL!
6-I am sure I have a defective iphone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.
7-We love Facebook but we hate the face of book.
8-Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure, it’s called a credit card.
9-Caution, Blind Man Driving.
10-The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
11-Men are like parking spaces; The good ones are taken, and the only ones left are handicapped.
12-Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Funny WhatsApp Status 2023

13-Sorry, I can’t hangout. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time..
14-I am not feeling lazy actually, I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing..
15-Todays Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
16-FACT: Kissing burns 5.4 calories a minute…… Ummm, wanna work out?
17-When a girl says she’ll be ready in 5 more minutes, it’s the same as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left. 😀
+30 Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh
+30 Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh
18-I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
19-If couples who are in love are called LOVE BIRDS, then couples who always argue should be called ANGRY BIRDS
20-Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. 🙂
21-Rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots..
22-In victory, you deserve Champagne. In defeat you need it.
23-Why do U think I SMS You? Is it because I care? Or I miss You? Or I love You? Or I need You? No ! It’s because I need a person for just time pass. 🙂
24-How to sleep faster: Decorate your bedroom to look like a classroom.
25-My life, My choices, My mistakes, My lessons, Not your business.
26-There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh
27-I promised my friends that I wouldn’t date bad girls anymore.
28-If you are player then I’m the GAME.

Funny WhatsApp status ideas in english

29-If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
30-Why does paper beat rock? if you hold a paper in front of your face and i throw a rock at it who wins?
31-If you can’t convince them, Confuse them.
32-Some people call me Mike, You can call me tonight.
33-I wonder if I’ve met the person I’m going to marry.
34-Viagra is now available in powder form to put in your tea. It does not enhance your performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft. Lolz
35-just found out that if you hold Ctrl and w for 10 seconds it turns your Facebook page from Blue to Red
36-People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason. 😉
37-Dear Food, Either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat 🙂
38-It used to be, “Can I have your number”? Now it’s, Do you have Facebook..
39-I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. 🙂
40-I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. 🙂
41-Some relationships are like tom and Jerry, they irritate each other, they tease each other, but they still can’t live without each other..
42-I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.
43-Do you have the time? ………………… O No, the time to write down my number? 🙂
44-All work and no play, will make you a manager.
45-Perfect boyfriend : Does not drink, does not smoke, does not cheat and also Does not exist 😛

best Short Status for WhatsApp

46-A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
47-When we are bored we get on Facebook, then we get bored on Facebook so we get off then 15 min later back on. its an endless cycle..
48-I thinks my neighbor just caught me stealing his Wi-Fi internet.
49-If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.
50-Insult and wife are somewhat similar….They always look good…If it is not yours!!!!
51-At least mosquitos are attracted to me.
52-That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink.
53-Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear, but what we are inside ..So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!
54-You actually have friends? Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
55-Is it rude to throw a breath mint in someone’s mouth while they are talking?
56-I`m not single. I`m in a long standing relationship with fun and freedom.
57-Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

10 Funny WhatsApp status lines

58-If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
59-If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
60-Dear Google: They are only using you to get to me. Sincerely Wikipedia
61-Excuse me is your last name Gillette? …because you are the best a man can get!
62-Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.
63-Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
64-When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
65-I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. 🙂
66-Death is God’s way of saying you are fired. Suicide is humans way of saying, I quit.
67-Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
68-The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.
69-I’ll be a billionaire once I’m done inventing this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet.

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